I'm an imposter
I don’t know how I got here. I know I did not do the best technical test my company gave to me because I know I left that two or three very important things I considere basic so my test was incomplete. The job interview was not bad at all but I feel that my interviewer has interviewed better developers than I. Maybe they were running out of time and they needed the first mid-decent developer they could find or maybe they had not enough money to hire that better developer that I was talking about. I’m an imposter.
Now I’m here almost five years later and that imposter syndrome is almost gone. Almost. Why do I say so? Well, I’ve acquired a lot of experience because of excellent colleagues and I know I’m not the same as before but more or less a year ago I decided to have a friendly talk with my boss to move from my workplace to look for a new adventure (and a better salary, why not say so?) to get in touch with a new team and get new knowledge. As I said I acquired a lot of knowledge in that four years working in my company and I was capable (and I am) of proving that I have no limits in my personal and professional growth, I have combined my full-time job with a university degree as developer engineer that I’m finishing this year with very good grades and I am capable of doing complex tasks without fear. I honestly thought that I was going to be that “better developer” I was talking about at the beginning of this post at any job interview and in a way I was because like in my hiring process in my current company that “better developer” was not hired. I’m not saying that the other candidates were worse, please do not misunderstand me.
So what happened? I’ve been thinking a lot about it in this last year and the reason is obvious: I don’t know how to explain what I do. I’m not a theoretical but a practical person, so in the interview I limited myself to explain the huge amount of technologies I’ve worked with and the different hard situations I had to face, but in front of questions like:
Why did you do that thing that way?
Why are you using that technology instead of this one?
Can you tell us some alternatives of that?
What benefits can you have doing that?
My answers were the same:
Well I think that… well.. you know what? To not be wrong I’m going to say that I don’t know.
You forgot something, David. You were not wrong but you also were not right.
So that is the reason I am still almost an imposter and I want to fix it by sharing my knowledge with calm and a relaxing cup of “café con leche” in my “habitación” (spanish joke) because I think that will help me retaining that theoretical part I need to improve as a developer. I hope we all enjoy this blog and it would be amazing if I can help anyone with it. Promise I will try to post something monthly!
See you all in the next post!